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A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal…

The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
 

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FROZEN CARBURETOR

People often complain about the police, but you rarely hear about the positive things they do, such as this incident involving a biker and a frozen carburetor.

Last January on a bitterly cold winter's day, a North Dakota State Trooper on patrol came upon a motorcyclist who was stalled by the roadside. The biker was swathed in heavy protective clothing and wearing a full-face helmet to protect the face from the cold weather.

“What’s the matter? asked the Trooper

"Carburetor's frozen," was the terse reply.

"Pee on it. That'll thaw it out."

"I can't," said the biker.

"OK, watch me closely and I'll show you." The Trooper unzipped and promptly warmed the carburetor as promised.

Moments later the bike started and the rider drove off, waving.

A few days later, the local State Troopers’ office received a note of thanks from the father of the motorcyclist.

It began: "On behalf of my daughter Jill..."
 

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Been awhile since we have had a Lou's Bar post. I thought I would "bump" it for the new users.

Guy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door, sees the flowers, gives him a big hug and kiss and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips off her panties and says "This is for the flowers!"
"Don't be silly" says the guy "You must have a vase somewhere!"
 

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Been awhile since we have had a Lou's Bar post. I thought I would "bump" it for the new users.

Guy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door, sees the flowers, gives him a big hug and kiss and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips off her panties and says "This is for the flowers!"
"Don't be silly" says the guy "You must have a vase somewhere!"
PICS???????:cool::cool::cool::cool::cool::cool:
 
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