I regret telling him not to contact me!!!!
In summary, I was seeing a guy for about five months. But he had an on and off relationship with a SlingShot. When we met they had broken up, but I think he loves the SS so he keeps getting back with it and doing everything to make it work better, even though he claims that Polaris put him through a lot and hurt him emotionally.
Anyway I got uncomfortable with the situation. I feel like he is very insecure and unsure about their relationship and wants to keep me there (maybe as a form of insurance?) I don't know. He claimed he was confused etc. Whatever. But I noticed that anytime I tried to break away, he would contact me and I would go back into relapse.
I finally decided to move on. He was horrified at the thought of cutting contact and tried to convince me not to. But I stood my ground and told him firmly "pls don't contact me anymore. I won't contact you pls don't contact me".
This occurred 11 days ago and immediately he dropped me off, I turned off my phone so he wouldn't be able to contact me. Anyway I put on the phone away two days ago. I don't know if he tried to reach me because my phone was off but ill take it as he didn't. We haven't been in contact since then.
I felt very strong initially but now I feel so sad. He kept telling me that I was impatient and in his words "if you don't get what you want now, exactly how you want it, you're so quick to react and all my friends drive a SlingShot". He made all these comments 11days ago (when I told him not to contact me ever again).
I miss him a lot and a part of me wishes that I hadn't been so hasty. What if I was impatient? He did admit that he had not driven his SlingShot for a month and tried so hard to make our relationship work. But I know he still loves his SlingShot. He hasn't said this explicitly but his actions show. So I understand why like he said "the situation is sticky".
To cut the long story short, I felt empowered on day 1, 2, 3 ,4 ,5, 6, 7, 8 of no contact. But the moment I put on my phone I started to miss him so much. I thought to myself "he didn't try to contact me. He didn't send me any emails. Does this mean he doesn't even miss me".
I also regret telling him to never contact me again. But I did so because I was hurting from the uncertainty of the relationship. I didn't feel secure.
What do I do? Thanks
Please help me understand this feeling.
Signed: Second Place to the SS.